Here's a convincing list why:
Alfred breathes oxygen.
Alfred bares his young live.
Alfred eats human babies.
Alfred sounds like he breathes helium but in fact he is just gay.
Alfred created racism
Alfred eat shit for breakfast.
Alfred uses sonar to track fish.
Alfred hear trough his mouth.
Alfred was the real assassins of president Kennedy.
Alfred was the sole propriotor of the first boy bands.
Alfred has red blood just like humans.
Alfred meat tastes like chicken.
This guy Bob I know once got gay raped by Alfred.
And liked it...
Alfred depletes the ozone layer.
Alfred loves to roll in motor oil.
Alfred polutes the ocean more then any animal alive.
Alfred invented cigarettes.
Alfred is concealing weapons of mass destruction.
If you invite Alfred over for dinner he will pee on your floor.
Alfred made Anthrax.
Alfred makes funny noises when you stick your finger in his blow(butt) hole.
Alfred thinks he is better then you.
Alfred likes pudding.
Alfred can't fly.
Alfred pushed the ice burg in front of the Titanic.
Alfred steals our air, he should breathe under water like a normal fish.
Alfred is not a miniture whale.
Alfred stabs sharks in the gills with his nose, and will stab you in the head with it too.
Alfred always smiles, even when brutally assaulting small childred.
If cooked properly Alfred tastes like a Snickers bar.
Alfred invented cancer.
Bill Gates is Alfred in a clever disguise.
Alfred shits out lawyers.
Alfred invented break dancing.
Alfred got MC Hammer his first record contract.
Alfred shot 2-Pac.
Alfred brews Miller High Life
Alfred hates whitey
Alfred is the Loch Ness monster.
Alfred has the cure for AIDS...but won't give it to us.
Alfred sells drugs to children.
Alfred sucks at hitch hiking.
Alfred loves Hitler
Spam, Pop-Ups, junk mail, the easter bunny, all Alfred...
Alfred operates the Internal Revenue Service
If you eat Alfred's brains you WILL gain super powers!!!
God hates them.
Alfred held us at gun point and forced us to make this site.
(LOOL THE ORIGINAL LIST IS HERE [link]
I JUST REPLACED DOLPHINS WITH ALFRED )