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Here's  a convincing list why:

Alfred breathes oxygen.

Alfred bares his young live.

Alfred eats human babies.

Alfred sounds like he breathes helium but in fact he is just gay.

Alfred created racism

Alfred eat shit for breakfast.

Alfred uses sonar to track fish.

Alfred hear trough his mouth.

Alfred was the real assassins of president Kennedy.

Alfred was the sole propriotor of the first boy bands.

Alfred has red blood just like humans.

Alfred meat tastes like chicken.

This guy Bob I know once got gay raped by Alfred.

And liked it...

Alfred depletes the ozone layer.

Alfred loves to roll in motor oil.

Alfred polutes the ocean more then any animal alive.

Alfred invented cigarettes.

Alfred is concealing weapons of mass destruction.

If you invite Alfred over for dinner he will pee on your floor.

Alfred made Anthrax.

Alfred makes funny noises when you stick your finger in his blow(butt) hole.

Alfred thinks he is better then you.

Alfred likes pudding.

Alfred can't fly.

Alfred pushed the ice burg in front of the Titanic.

Alfred steals our air, he should breathe under water like a normal fish.

Alfred is not a miniture whale.

Alfred stabs sharks in the gills with his nose, and will stab you in the head with it too.

Alfred always smiles, even when brutally assaulting small childred.

If cooked properly Alfred tastes like a Snickers bar.

Alfred invented cancer.

Bill Gates is Alfred in a clever disguise.

Alfred shits out lawyers.

Alfred invented break dancing.

Alfred got MC Hammer his first record contract.

Alfred shot 2-Pac.

Alfred brews Miller High Life

Alfred hates whitey

Alfred is the Loch Ness monster.

Alfred has the cure for AIDS...but won't give it to us.

Alfred sells drugs to children.

Alfred sucks at hitch hiking.

Alfred loves Hitler

Spam, Pop-Ups, junk mail, the easter bunny, all Alfred...

Alfred operates the Internal Revenue Service

If you eat Alfred's brains you WILL gain super powers!!!

God hates them.

Alfred held us at gun point and forced us to make this site.

(LOOL THE ORIGINAL LIST IS HERE www.ihatedolphins.com/facts.ht… I JUST REPLACED DOLPHINS WITH ALFRED )
Add a Comment:
 
:iconhellhoundhero:
HellHoundHero Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
(( THAT. MADE. MY . LIFE. ))
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
(( LMFAO IM GLAD :iconhurrhurrplz: ))
Reply
:iconhellhoundhero:
HellHoundHero Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
(( "DON'T GET MAD. GET A STICK AND WHACK THAT BITCH." :iconamericacameplz: ))
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012
(( I CAN PLAY WHACK-A-MOLE WITH HIS HEAD ))
Reply
:iconhellhoundhero:
HellHoundHero Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012
(( Indeed :iconisayplz: ))
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
((:icondealwithitplz:))
Reply
:iconask-matthew-williams:
E-England, are you alright? You seem a bit....Mad.

((OMG THAT WAS SO DAMN FUNNY! ALMOST PISSED MYSELF!))
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
Nope, just proving a point.

(( I DIED TYPING THIS LMFAOO ))
Reply
:iconask-matthew-williams:
I think a-after the first five you proved your point
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
I have to drive my points though to verify you understand
Reply
:iconclaudiadonovanwh13:
ClaudiaDonovanWH13 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
whoops sry here teh link guys[link]
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
FAVED
Reply
:iconclaudiadonovanwh13:
ClaudiaDonovanWH13 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Student Digital Artist
thx
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
No problem mate
Reply
:iconclaudiadonovanwh13:
ClaudiaDonovanWH13 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
okay so i just want to say..... england since the mint bunny is based off of the easter bunny are you saying alfred is your mint bunny????!!!!

OH! and guess what people i made reasons why to hate the pairings USUK and germany x italy!!!!![link]
Reply
:iconzombiedragon11:
ZombieDragon11 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
omg wth XD what did he even DO TO YOU
bahahaha dont you breath oxygen two?
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
Yes but I breathe clean oxygen, while he breathes his dirty american oxygen
Reply
:iconzombiedragon11:
ZombieDragon11 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol nice.
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
Its true.
Reply
:iconaskkoreaa:
askkoreaa Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
(( omg i actually thought you wrote it all until that last line xD ))
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
(( IM JUST THAT GOOD LOOOL ))
Reply
:iconaskmelatvia:
AskMeLatvia Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
So, you're saying, you DON'T breathe air.... Thats scary,
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
Not dirty american air
Reply
:iconaskmelatvia:
AskMeLatvia Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012
At least he doesn't summon the devil or make burnt food either
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
THAT IS A COMPLETE RUMOR, MY FOOD IS PERFECTLY GOOD.
Reply
:iconmori-ookami:
Mori-Ookami Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Student General Artist
I don't necessairly hate Alfred. I just would never hang out with him.

Now, after this journal, I might have started to have negative feelings toward him. Must cook Alfred. Must have Snickers flavored human.
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
Go right ahead, I wont stop you
Reply
:iconmori-ookami:
Mori-Ookami Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Haha. Good. Snickers is like one of my favorite candy bars anyways.

*ties a cheeseburger to a string and hides with rope and duct tape*

Oh Alfred...
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012
Its so easy its like taking candy from a baby...
Reply
:iconmori-ookami:
Mori-Ookami Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Student General Artist
Lol
Reply
:iconnana3212:
Nana3212 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
i get the feeling that you dont like alfred... XD
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
You dont even know...
Reply
:iconaskigirisu:
AskIgirisu Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012
((YES))
Reply
:iconask--arthur:
ask--arthur Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2012
(( LOOOL ))
Reply
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February 20, 2012
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